A girl and her bird

Peace and comfort 🥀

Once upon a time, in her darkened little world
A hummingbird swooped down and asked, “what’s wrong little girl?”

A sigh so heavy lifted from her chest
Grinning at his twirling wings he settled in the nest

A hush washed over her as she felt him say
Everyday I visit here and you never go astray

She was a loyal friend to most everyone she knew
She felt an old betrayal find its way out of the blue

I watch from high above peaceful and distracted
I wondered what caused your heart to be fractured

A warm smile and a gentle shrug with her shoulder
He is her brightest light these days as she gets older

She knows he is here to whisper sweet praise
Up and away her glances turn into a gaze

This too shall pass little one wait and you will see
Keep doing the next right thing and you’ll be completely free

Little movements will create great victories
String them together to tell your new stories

Looking down at her hands lying open on her knees
She feels the air stir and the coolness of a breeze

What he says she knows in her heart
Each day is an opportunity for a fresh start

✍🏼🧝🏻‍♀️

It’s not rejection, it’s God’s protection for the wrong direction…

Cradled 🙌🏼

Into the night she ran
not knowing how she got there
or when it all began

Faster her legs took her
far from it all
it’s all such a blur

Stopping to catch a breath
smiling to herself
saved from her own death

Feeling so alone now
she knows the faithful One
she hits her knees to bow

You rescue me time and again
I feel Your strength
rising from within

As she rose to her feet
His presence comforted her
surrendering without defeat

✍🏼🧝🏻‍♀️

Destined for greatness

It’s in her last breath the relieved sense of letting go
Her life unfulfilled yet blessed by the never ending show

A raw existence cruelty by another’s hand
She gave all she ever had but never took a stand

Her smile so infectious laughter quite contagious
She gave fake niceties that kept her spirit righteous

Evolving over time ever present she couldn’t be
His malicious behavior strangled her so tightly

How could she know her baby girl’s watchful eye
Picking up and mimicking as she walked on by

Get ahold of yourself as she looks in the mirror
Life is meant to be lived fully not just in a glimmer

Put down the bat the one tightly in your grip
Touch the brakes exit this ride kiss your pretty lip

You are not her all broken and torn apart
You’ve unlocked the secrets to transform your wounded heart

She wouldn’t want any of this wretchedness on your path that you are bound
Can’t you hear her words gently telling you to pick yourself up off the ground

I’m sorry little one who still cries deep inside
I’ve loved you since day one now let mercy take you for a ride

With this grace of comfort you deserve more than I could give
Now it’s time to shine rise up and really start to live

✍🏼🧝🏻‍♀️

Hush baby girl

Enmeshment no longer 💔

Remember not to forget
That sweet sound of instant regret

The war rages from the pit
Ignited now from the remorse of it

No bitterness in the voice you don’t wear
Love rings through if you listen you will hear

Rise up and shine
Gods Word is truly divine

Apart blossoms growth
Togetherness restricts the throat

Let go and be free
Unshackle the cuffs allowed to flee

A simple hello a painful goodbye
Try to the death no more tears left to cry

✍🏼🧝🏻‍♀️

Relearning how to breathe

Taking it slow, one breath at a time🌬🐢

My assignment she gave me, a grief letter with instructions what to do
Write it out on paper like somehow that will help me get over you

She hears my heart and knows I’ve been drifting awhile
Angrily I told her, please help me to stop obsessing so I can once again find my smile

The opener would say, no one ever fought for me, but I never stopped swinging, fighting for that love
A broken little girl who just desired to be wanted and cherished simply for who I was

I know my daddy loves me, the 20 times I saw him he told me this as so
You reminded me of the same, in fact the words went like this, “I said that I love you, once was enough for you to know”

All these years I’ve been working on my insides, mending what needs fixing, soothing what needs comfort, fighting for what ought to be freely given
I can see it in the distance, how life is supposed to go and I am choosing the path that shows me what it’s like to be living

Coulda shoulda woulda such a tormented little game
I’ll start to leave those phrases out, the ones which lay forth all the blame

Grief is like a party for us who show up to play the part
But really for me, all it does is remind me of my hurting, fractured heart

The conclusion might read something along these blurred lines and such
We are all a little flawed, imperfect little humans, but for me, I don’t ask for much

I can articulate my pain, sadness and struggles better than most
But for you all, no no, pour another round, raise your glass high to give yourself a toast

Thank God for my journey and path where it has led
I lay myself down at night, taking it all in as I curl up in my bed

I pray for the lost, the weary and weak
For those who still suffer looking at life as it were bleak

Each and every one who has taken something from me
I am being restored by grace and honor and even with a little more dignity

✍🏼🧝🏻‍♀️

This is how life goes it ebbs and it flows

Matthew 7:6 🙏🏻

What is right or even wrong, it’s all in a song

An angry little girl searching where she fits in
Her teenage self not so gangly yet thin

Boys attracted by her flirtatious smile and blue eyes
What they don’t see are the walls of her disguise

She learned early on how invisible she can be
Colors change with the wind and so could she

Who you need is what she will become
Transformation is how it’s all done

Submission was taught and equally expected
Relinquish all control or she would be rejected

At least then she felt a sense of belonging at last
To whom was the question quickly becoming her past

So much to think about, reflect and discern
A variety of things have helped her to learn

When does it stop, this death sentence lives on
Flip the music on, the answers are in that song

✍🏼🧝🏻‍♀️

The architect of my own nightmare

Trust in You 🙏🏻

Sleep the illusive one why must I chase you down
Trap and wrestle you to the ground

My heart it feels every crack, fracture and break
Isn’t it enough for my unsettled mind to escape

Every bait and switch was a work of art
You had me going right from the start

Today is just another wrecking ball sized blow
These fucking memories simmer and glow

Once twisted inside like tangled up knots
Have now become my everyday thoughts

They beckon and howl like a wolf in the night
Come play it out with me until we get it right

I saddled and rode this mystery out to the end
We lost more than the other was willing to bend

✍🏼🧝🏻‍♀️

I miss loving…………(You)

Our love is at rest, i gave my very best… 💝

He didn’t open her door when she stood beside it, but only for a moment did she wait. She climbed in her seat there beside him, she seemed content and I thought of you…
(Opening my door as I skillfully slid into my space next to you while you pulled out my seatbelt so graciously handing it to me)

They arrived at the restaurant, again she exited the truck, meeting him around the back where they made small talk heading to their destination and
I thought of you…
(I remained still, grinning as you walked over to my side once more, opening my door, offering your hand, I emerged as we made our way)

She stood outside the door looking at the sign, he said, “Allow me” as he grabbed the handle to the door, she stepped inside and
I thought of you…
(My hand never touched a door as long as I was with you)

They were seated, the menus presented and the question, “can I start you off with a drink” and
I thought of you…
(One menu was all that was required, my drink was chosen along with my meal, handled with care)

He picked up the check not a word was exchanged except when she offered to pay her share. He reached for his wallet thanking her, then stating he’d have to give up his man card while handing it off to the server without hesitation and
I thought of you…
(One of our first dates I noticed the price and you thanked me for being thoughtful then assured me it would be alright, the cost wasn’t an issue. I relaxed, feeling special)

She thanked him for treating her to a pleasant evening and wondered what to do next so they left out the door and she casually laced her hand through the bend in his arm and
I thought of you…
(Next to you I felt taken care of, protected and safe, looked after and thought, I felt loved)

There was the truck, the one they open their own doors for, the one they return home in, to the house they reside and
I thought of you…
(Again you pull open the door, buckle me in, my hand on your knee as it slides up your thigh, a peck on the cheek, with a twinkle in my eye. I thank you for a lovely evening, for treating me like your queen, I can hardly wait to get home to show you all the love in my heart)

He flips on the TV and she checks her phone. Divided by some walls, back to their own separate interests and distractions, it’s like the spark and the magic were left somewhere far behind and
I thought of you…
(We barely made inside with our hearts beating deeply, your hands all up in my hair, the door closes quickly as clothes fall to the floor)

She makes her way to the chilly room where she lays her head. At some point he will take his place beside her all cozied up in their bed. She’s fast asleep and he’s quiet while he slips between the sheets and
I thought you…
(We walk together down the darkened hallway to find that safe, familiar place, the warmth of your body comforts me while mine stirs up all your deepest desires)

They closed the door to the wonderful night without another word, he turned off the light, she rolled over, her back turned to him, now he lies there staring at the ceiling asking himself where have you been and
I thought of you…
(Engulfed in your arms I feel your hot breath, it smells like tequila, I smile to myself being pulled in closer, I don’t want to breathe if it means loosening your grip, I exhale, we are immersed, becoming just one, please don’t let me wake. I know you feel loved and I do too) and
I thought of only you…

✍🏼🧝🏻‍♀️

This 12×12 space

Empty space filled with love 💗

Is where I feel safe I can hide from it all

Nothing can touch my heart I won’t fall

My life is flashing quickly before my eyes

It’s taken this long for me to become wise

Regrets I work hard not to have or to hold

Lessons I choose to admire as I grow old

Thank you for sharing your secrets in my ear

I’ve been holding my fondest memories very near

I always thought I could make my heart feel better

All it’s ever truly been is a broken delicate fracture

The pain I’ve worn has shown me what I need

At times it cries out as blood trickles and I bleed

When did all this time escape and pass me right by

Why do I continue to waste it and be made to cry

Because he left when I was merely a baby girl

Then again when she died leaving me in a whirl

The door has been open wide

Waiting for you to come on inside

Those who have walked through broke me more

No one else can have me as I begin to explore

Life is becoming what I make it up to be

The best thing I know is that I’m finally feeling free

✍🏼🧖🏼‍♀️