God anointed me to write

Strangled by oppression, eventually anger will build and pool in the very soul that was created in love. Out of fear and doubt, the inability to speak, my insides cry and lash out. Why can’t I exhume my deepest thoughts? What I say matters, intellectually inspiring, there is so much to share.

Convicted as a child with emotions to express, ridiculed for feeling, thinking, with wants needs and desires. This would carry on and haunt me like the enemy adores, but God is my one and only, He blessed me with an almighty voice. Choosing to write is what’s saved my own life.

A reflection of what I’ve been carrying around, the pen flows my truth, saving me from being buried underground. At times there are poems rhyming and sometimes not. Uncomfortable to some, embraced by those who aren’t fearful nor flee. My words unbound placed upon my heart. The freedom to shed that has both kept me together and torn me apart.

Truly a masterpiece, His prized work in this aspiring vessel. His Mercy and Grace bringing forth what has been nestled. Now I can see it, my truest self worth I’ve always hidden. Staying this course will revise how I’ve lived, protecting the gifts I’ve been given.

There are people I love and things that I need, but in the end, I always receive everything I believe. When I stop chasing after those who run and hide, I am equipped to move towards what beckons from inside.

✍🏼🧝🏻‍♀️

Inner turmoil

Searching for peace…

Trembling through the fire
You taunted me today
I saw it in your eyes
That merciless desire

Out of the oblivion you appeared
Twisting along the country road
Alone with my thoughts
A familiar hand waving as I leered

Suspicious of your calculated gaze
My throat caught a gasp
Nothing made sense
Again leaving me in a daze

This shell has turned into dust
What do you repeatedly want from me
Flatten your destructive path wasn’t enough
Emptiness hollowed with it trust

Flashed quickly through my brain
These are the confusing thoughts
Stay in my rear view please
I’m jumping off that train

What more could I give
Everything you took
Received nothing in return
Times up let me live

✍🏼🧝🏻‍♀️

The day I stopped fighting the battle is the day I won the war

I’ve rehearsed every line practiced in my sleep
Exactly what I’ll say just to find some peace

The day is drawing near another rabbit hole I slid
All because of your undoing it is time to close the lid

My light was dimmed not even a small spark
These gloves are swinging punching in the dark

Mystified in misery anger fluid and abound
Not one more fight left crashing to the ground

Standing tall before my eyes wiping away the tears
Finding it hard to believe I wasted so many years

Pausing only a brief moment in this singular display of pride
I raised my hands up in the air taking it all in stride

My flesh for you is no longer I take it all back
No human should suffer the likes of your own lack

And with a deep breath I could never quite swallow
I took my first step and chose not to follow

✍🏼🧝🏻‍♀️

Forgiveness is an art

It is rising above with class, dignity and valor.
It is for me not you.

It is in the strength of letting go not holding on.
It is for me not you.

It is for my sanity and well being to be free.
It is for me not you.

It is accepting what happened without harboring a resentment.
It is for me not you.

It is trusting a punishment will render from above.
It is for me not you.

It is believing we each did our best with what we knew.
It is for me not you.

It is exhaling knowing I’ve done all I can.
It is for me not you.

It is understanding no one can pour from an empty cup.
It is for me not you.

It is praying for your healing as well as my own.
It is for me not you.

It is being kind even in the midst of turmoil and grief.
It is for me not you.

It is severing all ties yet hoping you too will know peace.
It is for me not you.

It is caring that you still eat just not at my table.
It is for me not you.

It is living for today and not forgetting yesterday.
It is for me not you.

It is becoming a stronger person in spite of it all.
It is for me not you.

It is courageous staying in the fight not to win.
It is for me not you.

It is brave revealing the truth and standing proud.
It is for me not you.

It is the ability of not holding a grudge or keeping score.
It is for me not you.

It is loving without conditions regardless of them.
It is for me not you.

Forgiveness, forgiveness….

even if, even if…

✍🏻🧖🏼