A girl and her bird

Peace and comfort 🥀

Once upon a time, in her darkened little world
A hummingbird swooped down and asked, “what’s wrong little girl?”

A sigh so heavy lifted from her chest
Grinning at his twirling wings he settled in the nest

A hush washed over her as she felt him say
Everyday I visit here and you never go astray

She was a loyal friend to most everyone she knew
She felt an old betrayal find its way out of the blue

I watch from high above peaceful and distracted
I wondered what caused your heart to be fractured

A warm smile and a gentle shrug with her shoulder
He is her brightest light these days as she gets older

She knows he is here to whisper sweet praise
Up and away her glances turn into a gaze

This too shall pass little one wait and you will see
Keep doing the next right thing and you’ll be completely free

Little movements will create great victories
String them together to tell your new stories

Looking down at her hands lying open on her knees
She feels the air stir and the coolness of a breeze

What he says she knows in her heart
Each day is an opportunity for a fresh start

✍🏼🧝🏻‍♀️

Retracing her steps

👐🏻

A big stretch up to the sky as dawn kisses her cheek. Good morning she says, aloud to the silence. She greets each day with a grateful heart. Deep breath in and a long exhalation of the past that sometimes haunts her still.

With another gift, an abundance of love, she questions the validity of her life. Her purpose she thought she once knew, rendered obsolete, nothing was true. Being reminded by this fragrance and that special place, letting go isn’t so easy, but necessary to keep on breathing.

🧱

Today is less about the loss of what was as more emphasis is put on the freedom she is reluctant to feel, but now is. She watches them while she sees the light flicker in their eyes. Others who pay her the attention she was always instructed to ignore. She smiles back at them now and then, yet inside, deeply feeling rejection towards all.

Too soon or too late, she is where she is, growing and learning simply wanting new friends. No longer seeking that white knighted, makeshift alpha or fake savior. Becoming comfortable with her own company while she continues to blossom and bloom. They don’t understand, although some say they do, that her completeness comes from the brokenness within.

🪨

✍🏼🧝🏻‍♀️

Life is in session

For as long as I have a breath in me… 🌬

What the fuck
I flip and I flop
Like the hands on clock
Forward they move
Stop in a groove

You have my attention
But wait
My obsession
Distracted by this
Tortured by that

Get up another day
To tackle what’s new
Face the old
Embrace what’s askew

Fuck my life
In this single moment
Love what inspires me
Let go of the torment

Hold on to what’s right
Tattered and worn
Nothing left to fight

Just a sappy movie
Sit by my side
Time is of the essence
You’re missing the fucking ride

Grimace don’t smile
Fatigued
Run the extra mile

Can’t I just stop
No baby girl
Not until
You’ve reached the top

I’m ___ without you
A better man you could be
I hate every second
knowing you’re lost without me

and again and again…

✍🏼🧝🏻‍♀️

Relentless patience

Captive and kept

You taught me things about being your best
Loving myself was far from the rest

You showed me what it was like to serve only you
To be selfless everyday pulling me through

I surrendered to your laws
You magnified all my flaws

Convincing me you were after exceptional
When nothing less than perfection was acceptable

You were a blessing and then it was cursed
Everything calculated everything rehearsed

How you became the broken man I met long ago
Baffles me still in this game of the unknown

I’m hurting from this pain left in ruins of my heart
Wishing you would just stop tearing me apart

This unrelenting sadness devours me whole
Retreating to the depths of my wounded soul

Some days I taste the freedom from your grasp
Others I awaken and feel like this will last and last

Won’t you stop this insanity I don’t wish to play
Let me move forward stop taking my breath away

I had to go I couldn’t remain
In the dark and dismal place to glorify your name

What’s done is over put it all to rest
White flag of surrender this is not a test

All the while I felt the laceration
Breathless and shattered forever your complication

✍🏼🧝🏻‍♀️