Transformative

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She tells her truth no matter what
It’s how she was raised and what she was taught

Don’t begrudge her by hushing her now
The spectacular voice has become a deafening roar

You thought you could keep her silently in fear
Listen to her now watch her soar see her sneer

What was so damaged that you couldn’t mend
How lucky for you she sought you to be a friend

Taking everything selfishly for your greed
Look at her as she forms her own creed

Take your rightful place beneath her feet
She wipes her shoes upon you never by defeat

How proudly she stands so poised with a beam
Eloquently she whispers it’s my time to dream

✍🏼🧝🏻‍♀️

A girl and her bird

Peace and comfort 🥀

Once upon a time, in her darkened little world
A hummingbird swooped down and asked, “what’s wrong little girl?”

A sigh so heavy lifted from her chest
Grinning at his twirling wings he settled in the nest

A hush washed over her as she felt him say
Everyday I visit here and you never go astray

She was a loyal friend to most everyone she knew
She felt an old betrayal find its way out of the blue

I watch from high above peaceful and distracted
I wondered what caused your heart to be fractured

A warm smile and a gentle shrug with her shoulder
He is her brightest light these days as she gets older

She knows he is here to whisper sweet praise
Up and away her glances turn into a gaze

This too shall pass little one wait and you will see
Keep doing the next right thing and you’ll be completely free

Little movements will create great victories
String them together to tell your new stories

Looking down at her hands lying open on her knees
She feels the air stir and the coolness of a breeze

What he says she knows in her heart
Each day is an opportunity for a fresh start

✍🏼🧝🏻‍♀️

Retracing her steps

👐🏻

A big stretch up to the sky as dawn kisses her cheek. Good morning she says, aloud to the silence. She greets each day with a grateful heart. Deep breath in and a long exhalation of the past that sometimes haunts her still.

With another gift, an abundance of love, she questions the validity of her life. Her purpose she thought she once knew, rendered obsolete, nothing was true. Being reminded by this fragrance and that special place, letting go isn’t so easy, but necessary to keep on breathing.

🧱

Today is less about the loss of what was as more emphasis is put on the freedom she is reluctant to feel, but now is. She watches them while she sees the light flicker in their eyes. Others who pay her the attention she was always instructed to ignore. She smiles back at them now and then, yet inside, deeply feeling rejection towards all.

Too soon or too late, she is where she is, growing and learning simply wanting new friends. No longer seeking that white knighted, makeshift alpha or fake savior. Becoming comfortable with her own company while she continues to blossom and bloom. They don’t understand, although some say they do, that her completeness comes from the brokenness within.

🪨

✍🏼🧝🏻‍♀️

It’s not rejection, it’s God’s protection for the wrong direction…

Cradled 🙌🏼

Into the night she ran
not knowing how she got there
or when it all began

Faster her legs took her
far from it all
it’s all such a blur

Stopping to catch a breath
smiling to herself
saved from her own death

Feeling so alone now
she knows the faithful One
she hits her knees to bow

You rescue me time and again
I feel Your strength
rising from within

As she rose to her feet
His presence comforted her
surrendering without defeat

✍🏼🧝🏻‍♀️

Checkmate

empowerment 👑

In the dark corners of my mind
a twisted thought evokes
but not your typical kind

Etched upon my brain
rolling around as I lash about
running to escape the pain

Such a fucked up system
he sits up there feeling superior
boastfully believing in his own wisdom

I stare over to you sickened by your frame
while the hustle and bustle strangle the air
I finally realize this has all just been a game

I’m the pawn that suffered beneath you
the queen really yet you were never a king
this plot is almost over with one thing left to do

Those shackles I once wore
place them on you now
never again will I be your little whore

Spin it around as you begin to fear
I’m the one seeking pleasure this time
walking away I turn to see you leer

So much hate burning from your flesh
how agonizing it must feel
never a moment to rest

Run away far and wide
it always catches up
there is no place to hide

I’ve taken the reign
who’s controlling who now
the true master inside this brain

don’t cross me evermore
in the end I will win
the truth will show

I’ve withstood and fallen down
from that grave I arose
buried alive you couldn’t keep me underground

Staring out at the smoke filled sky
imagining what my life will finally look like
as I silently whispered to you a final goodbye

✍🏼🧝🏻‍♀️

Finding her way…

Back. Back from where? Was she ever really lost or just misguided? Her path obsolete, or obstructed? Her eyes lost sight of You. Her heart led astray, she gazes into darkness. What’s that strange glow over there? She wondered if she were to follow, where it would take her instead.

Alone. Could she even imagine? Her heart pounding with anticipation. Fear rises in her chest. Her breath gasps all the while as her feet press on. Trust this road. Strange as it may feel. Unsteady, untraveled, yet somehow safer, more will be revealed.

Brighter. The air smells clean. Her lungs catch the depth of her inhalation, taking another gulp. Releasing the toxins, her long exhalation, she sneaks one more and smiles. Even her vision, no longer impaired as she drinks in all the beauty in front of her.

Beckoning. The force pulls her. Unlike any she’s experienced before. This is sweeter, gentler, safer. “This way,” a soft whisper in her ear, “be the change you want to see”.

Puzzled. She shakes off the lies, pulls the constraints, flips the tape over to hear a different story. The one where she shines before her light went dim.

Solitude. She goes within. Silently she sits at last. Longer stretches of time pass. That awaited breath flows like never before. This must be what peace feels like.

Strength…
✍🏼🧝🏻‍♀️

Flip the script

🏳️‍⚧️ Free to be 🏳️‍⚧️

Those lies, the ones they told me, I’m learning to rewrite the words in a way that inspires rather than devours me. In a word, or 4, I am a good person.

Ever get tired of listening to the sound of your own voice? The one that rattles on inside the corners of your mind? As I begin to take captive these very objective thoughts, I practice re-recording them. Now when I begin to play them back, I hear my voice, my truths, my consoling love and I let go.
Capturing the simplicity and compassion I’ve longed for.

It isn’t in another where I seek and draw from the soothing joy I find within. I watch my daughter struggle with her inner being as she wrestles the demons that have haunted her, but she is all knowing. She always has been. She is a conqueror, a warrior and she’s afraid sometimes, but she rises up to take on the challenges of another day. I admire her completely. I support her in the ways she needs and I step back while she finds her way.

My life has been that incessant rollercoaster. This child of mine is most like me of all. She’s witnessed her mom’s struggles and has even inherited many of my my traits. She is fiercely independent yet welcomes a hand up from her trusted allies. I embrace this journey she is on, loving her with absolute unconditional love while I learn by listening.

Even though she tells me not to be, I’m often apologetic for not seeing through her pain early in her life. I’m your mom I tell her, I knew instinctively of your hurting, but what it was I couldn’t figure out. I thank her for trusting me now. For being the bravest young person I’ve ever known. One who has courage when her fear stops her in her tracks, paralyzing her from taking a step on any given day, but somehow managing the next breath. In a world that is more divided, cannot accept diversity and is extremely judgmental, she perseveres. I tell her she has been blessed with this gift to do great things.

As my granddaughter and I walked up to join my daughter in line at the pharmacy yesterday, a woman in front had been chatting with her as they stood patiently awaiting their turn. She smiled at me as I took my place next to her and this kind, older lady asked, “is this your son? I was just saying there’s a twin in here that looks just like”… she trailed off, I felt my heart thump as this was my first encounter, an opportunity to practice my reply. I smiled at my daughter, hesitated, wanting to feel natural and proudly correct her, when the words, “they’re with me” escaped my lips just as my 9 year old granddaughter confidently spoke up, pointing at her dad, correcting the lady’s mistake… “her daughter”, she told the woman. “Ohh, sorry” her words apologetic and sincere. Both my daughter and I beamed as we looked at this unwavering little girl. We should all be so matter of fact, straightforward and honest.

She taught me a valuable lesson in that simple display of assuredness. This is not something to make any sort of issue out of, unless you choose to. Wisdom comes from the most untouched of places. I stood in awe and felt my heart swell in admiration. Life is as simple or difficult as we make it be.

✍🏼🧝🏻‍♀️

Destined for greatness

It’s in her last breath the relieved sense of letting go
Her life unfulfilled yet blessed by the never ending show

A raw existence cruelty by another’s hand
She gave all she ever had but never took a stand

Her smile so infectious laughter quite contagious
She gave fake niceties that kept her spirit righteous

Evolving over time ever present she couldn’t be
His malicious behavior strangled her so tightly

How could she know her baby girl’s watchful eye
Picking up and mimicking as she walked on by

Get ahold of yourself as she looks in the mirror
Life is meant to be lived fully not just in a glimmer

Put down the bat the one tightly in your grip
Touch the brakes exit this ride kiss your pretty lip

You are not her all broken and torn apart
You’ve unlocked the secrets to transform your wounded heart

She wouldn’t want any of this wretchedness on your path that you are bound
Can’t you hear her words gently telling you to pick yourself up off the ground

I’m sorry little one who still cries deep inside
I’ve loved you since day one now let mercy take you for a ride

With this grace of comfort you deserve more than I could give
Now it’s time to shine rise up and really start to live

✍🏼🧝🏻‍♀️

Just scream into the void

empty space, mine

A wrinkle in time
Heart won’t slow
Eyes can’t stay closed
Set the clock to rewind

Listen can you hear me
I lost my breath out there
Extracted every emotion
Floating about feeling free

✍🏼🧝🏻‍♀️

I am a child of God, you are the spawn of satan

There’s no other way to shake it
like a record stuck in its groove
round and round it spins
it has no other choice but to move

Cursed by your demons
the one you call master
left to your own devices
finding yourself running faster

Contentment escapes you
wrangling up another captive
truth prevails and is triumphant over evil
race towards the drama in order to live

Your breath is his power
fear feeds his oxygen
see him kick back and smirk
just to watch you do it all again

They panic and wage
spiritual warfare will ensue
my God is bigger
what more can you do

Your best shot is losing
the plot grows thick
letting your guard down
another one he tries to trick

They’re on to you
you’ll never be free
I on the other hand
finally get to be me

✍🏼🧝🏻‍♀️