RIP to her former self

Human rights validated by the One Who Created us all… 🏳️‍⚧️

The struggle she faces so torn up inside
They knew from the beginning how to divide

This upheaval of emotions riddled in fear
She couldn’t find the words so her secret she held near

As she grew up to question her true value and self
She learned to conform with her feelings on the shelf

The rage burned within while she cried and she screamed
Life was getting harder than she could have dreamed

Since the day she was born it was known only to her
The truth of the matter was more than a blur

Her pain continued to grow with every passing day
Nothing ever felt quite right but how could she stray

Amongst the many battles she had to dread
None of them compare to the one inside her head

The worst part of all that rips at her heart
Is the lack of acceptance that tears her life apart

This road she travels has been worn by others shoes
They’ve trekked long before and still they fight to prove

Get over your fucking selves you judgmental, close minded, ignorant ones
Human race filled with indifferences, these are our daughters and these are our sons

Intolerance will start a war blatantly with hate
At the end of our lives who’ll be the ones standing at the gate

✍🏼🧝🏻‍♀️

The architect of my own nightmare

Trust in You 🙏🏻

Sleep the illusive one why must I chase you down
Trap and wrestle you to the ground

My heart it feels every crack, fracture and break
Isn’t it enough for my unsettled mind to escape

Every bait and switch was a work of art
You had me going right from the start

Today is just another wrecking ball sized blow
These fucking memories simmer and glow

Once twisted inside like tangled up knots
Have now become my everyday thoughts

They beckon and howl like a wolf in the night
Come play it out with me until we get it right

I saddled and rode this mystery out to the end
We lost more than the other was willing to bend

✍🏼🧝🏻‍♀️

I miss loving…………(You)

Our love is at rest, i gave my very best… 💝

He didn’t open her door when she stood beside it, but only for a moment did she wait. She climbed in her seat there beside him, she seemed content and I thought of you…
(Opening my door as I skillfully slid into my space next to you while you pulled out my seatbelt so graciously handing it to me)

They arrived at the restaurant, again she exited the truck, meeting him around the back where they made small talk heading to their destination and
I thought of you…
(I remained still, grinning as you walked over to my side once more, opening my door, offering your hand, I emerged as we made our way)

She stood outside the door looking at the sign, he said, “Allow me” as he grabbed the handle to the door, she stepped inside and
I thought of you…
(My hand never touched a door as long as I was with you)

They were seated, the menus presented and the question, “can I start you off with a drink” and
I thought of you…
(One menu was all that was required, my drink was chosen along with my meal, handled with care)

He picked up the check not a word was exchanged except when she offered to pay her share. He reached for his wallet thanking her, then stating he’d have to give up his man card while handing it off to the server without hesitation and
I thought of you…
(One of our first dates I noticed the price and you thanked me for being thoughtful then assured me it would be alright, the cost wasn’t an issue. I relaxed, feeling special)

She thanked him for treating her to a pleasant evening and wondered what to do next so they left out the door and she casually laced her hand through the bend in his arm and
I thought of you…
(Next to you I felt taken care of, protected and safe, looked after and thought, I felt loved)

There was the truck, the one they open their own doors for, the one they return home in, to the house they reside and
I thought of you…
(Again you pull open the door, buckle me in, my hand on your knee as it slides up your thigh, a peck on the cheek, with a twinkle in my eye. I thank you for a lovely evening, for treating me like your queen, I can hardly wait to get home to show you all the love in my heart)

He flips on the TV and she checks her phone. Divided by some walls, back to their own separate interests and distractions, it’s like the spark and the magic were left somewhere far behind and
I thought of you…
(We barely made inside with our hearts beating deeply, your hands all up in my hair, the door closes quickly as clothes fall to the floor)

She makes her way to the chilly room where she lays her head. At some point he will take his place beside her all cozied up in their bed. She’s fast asleep and he’s quiet while he slips between the sheets and
I thought you…
(We walk together down the darkened hallway to find that safe, familiar place, the warmth of your body comforts me while mine stirs up all your deepest desires)

They closed the door to the wonderful night without another word, he turned off the light, she rolled over, her back turned to him, now he lies there staring at the ceiling asking himself where have you been and
I thought of you…
(Engulfed in your arms I feel your hot breath, it smells like tequila, I smile to myself being pulled in closer, I don’t want to breathe if it means loosening your grip, I exhale, we are immersed, becoming just one, please don’t let me wake. I know you feel loved and I do too) and
I thought of only you…

✍🏼🧝🏻‍♀️

Remember so not to forget

Photographic memory 📸

Did you know that when I spoke your name it hurt so much I changed it to stop feeling the pain?

Remember when we played that same game, you called me your girl and showed me how to feel shame?

Tequila was your best friend and melted your brain. It’s what made you start to go insane.

That fly over there, hanging on the wall, knew before I could admit I was about to free fall.

Can you see down the pipe to the mud and the muck? What’s that but me, your most favorite piece of ass just to fuck.

She has this flame engulfed and fueled by rage. This girl won’t be contained any longer in her cage.

Did you know I held up this white flag of surrender? A daunting task but someone needs to remember.

Can you hear me down the road that now divides us forever? I’m shouting from my side, across the line that’s been drawn. You think you are so clever.

She listened to my cries and then words that she said, I hushed them to remind her all the tears that I have shed.

She then held my hand, looked me gently in the eye and said, yes and remember all the tears that you have shed.

✍🏼🧝🏻‍♀️

It’s done, it’s over, it’s in the past

Waited time is not wasted… 🕰

She sits alone in her web of hope that once was her destruction yet his to spin. They never understood how she could stay, but stay she did far past the expiration day.

The song played faint in the background. Dance with me please just one time before we go. He looked through her like a ghost reaching behind as she sunk so low.

In the light of day he still posed as her lover but the reality was he was just another thief in the night roaming the streets undercover.

Her thoughts were more clear when he crossed over into her mind. Who was he now and where had he gone? The man she waited and prayed for hoping he would come to find.

It took many years of trials and even an unsavory reason. She watched and she listened, observed and blew wishes when she finally understood, it was only for one long season.

✍🏼🧝🏻‍♀️

LLG Tactical Coaching

Consulting~Child Advocacy~Coaching

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