Your influence murdered my spirit

I once was lost, but now I’m found…

He needed me desperately so. The way a child cries out though grown now, his suffering remains and you said no.

How could I know what was lying in wait? Then you came along, pretending like I mattered, you actually told me I did, I was stupid and took the bait.

She was lost and sinking below, her hand stretching out, please don’t let me fall.

Lock all the doors and close the windows tight. If she comes by to get in, she’ll find it a colder dark night.

You cruel heartless man I let into my life. How dare you make me choose between you and my children causing nothing but strife.

You fooled me every step of your dark way. How I cried and caved in to your insidious hurtfulness.
I was nothing more than your prey.

My spirit was shattered believing the promises that were spoken. It took valuable time and hard lessons to learn I was nothing more than a token.

So much time has passed and been forgotten but not for me, reliving the homicide to my
soul that was broken.

Resurrection takes place a little at a time, restoration precludes all the damage that’s done, repairing the splinters I hold in my hand.  

They all forgave me without a moment to think. Each understood the callous contempt, yet unforgiveness darkens their heart.

I’m what matters most in their world, you were a mere space in time, evoking from me every pound of flesh you could possibly grind.

I dare to be overdramatic, but true. Be gone with you my love, no more. I turned around to see that I’ve finally closed the God damned door…

✍🏼🧝🏻‍♀️

Author: Tammy Kay

Somewhere along blurred lines, my self worth was solely dependent upon everyone else's opinions besides mine. Past life would keep dictating this way of “living” for a very long time. Like a brick pathway, my belief system was cemented in and it established a flawed premise of which I had learned to stick with and live by. I have since come to understand that a belief is just a thought I continue to have. So brick by brick, I’ve begun the demolition and reconstruction during this process of becoming the most authentic version of me. For a lifetime this far, I have accepted the unacceptable, tolerated the intolerable and have remained in places far beyond their expiration date. After all, I had to stay with all my broken pieces. Now, I have been stifled for far too long. Freedom has bestowed upon me the use of my voice at last. Won't you join me on a new roller coaster of life as I navigate my way through this next part of my journey? I promise to share my experience, strength and hope from my heart with depth and truth. I guarantee I will write about difficult things, struggles and even pain, yet in the darkness a little light glows. Through inspiration, a glimmer will shine because I want to leave you a little better than when you first found me.

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